10 Signs You're a Bad GoodFriend 1

Being an alien on an alien planet is never easy. There are things one has to learn and adapt to so as not to reveal their hidden agendas. (If you noticed, I’ve still not revealed my hidden agenda, that’s why it's hidden..and I’m not revealing it. I intend to keep it that way, ok?) anyway, being alien to mannerisms of humans, I happen to make some very very very bad mistakes in the field of what humans called friendship.
If you identify with 5 or more of these, you must be one of those memory-modified aliens. Haha! Sucks to be you!

Anyway, here goes

·         Haha! Human!
You're constantly making fun of your friends and not just in pure jest..but comments that could probably hurt them. And you realize that precisely 9000 seconds later. Regretting it. But then again, you don’t apologize. Ever.
I understand that humans are weird and funny and stupid, but please, refrain from pointing it out every 15 minutes.

·         The Test.
You test your friends at each and every point of your friendship. Every day, every second for you is a heart wrenching, death defying examination of whether they are honest, trustworthy or not and each next second is a test of whether they still retain it. My experience on earth has taught me that humans aren’t very fond of examinations.

·         Fool me never.

You think 100 times before telling someone something related to yourself. Justified. I thought 100 000 000 000 times before I decided to reveal my origin. But that's O.K. with weird people around you who you want to K.O. all the time. BUT if you think 10 times even before telling your ‘friends’ a secret, you know you're a bad living creature with trust issues.

·         May the ego be ever in your favor.
Your ego goes with you everywhere. Even when you're with friends. You cannot lose it, ever.  It's oxygen for you. Your friends probably accept you for this, but believe you me, people accept a certain amount of ego, anything over that limit and you’re out of their lives. FRIENDSHIP OVER!

·         Judge them! Judge them all!

Every time they say something, you judge them. You judge their each and every move (and your own). Are they fit to be in your company? Are they good enough? Are you good enough to be with them? Do they like Batman? Do they believe in aliens? Will it ever stop? Probably..NOT.


So humans, do you identify with them? Do you think that I have gotten a completely wrong idea of bad human friendship?
What are the things in YOU that make you a bad friend?

Next 5 points up soon! :'D

Till then, keep telling yourself this, it'll make you feel better. :)

Update:
You can read the second half here:
http://betwixt-and-beyond.blogspot.in/2013/08/10-signs-youre-bad-goodfriend-2.html

My Precious

Phew! And finally I coax myself into writing the first proper blog post (NOT Blog, as PeaBee told me), writing for the sole purpose of blogging. The sense of achievement I feel at completing this task is perhaps much more than anybody would allow and is proper. I mean, I just started. But hey! Isn't a good beginning supposed to be half the work done or something? EXACTLY. I am already on the highway to being a good blogger. Off the highway to hell, sadly. I've been planning to rule the helm of hell for quite sometime and I'm guessing the easiest and most logical first step would be to marry Satan himself. Or Hades. Whoever supposedly rules Hell. Right? And then murder them in their sleep..but they'd probably just come back to hell. Is it even possible to murder them? They are Gods. Evil, but Gods. Loophole found. Need to come up with something fresh and original. Soon.
Realization: I did NOT plan to reveal that to the world.
Yes, I could simply use backspace and delete it all but I won't. That's how badass I am. Heck yeah!
Anyway, what I'd planned for my first blog post was my introduction. Basically, a list of things I deeply love and would absolutely go insane (the good insane, mind you) if any information regarding them were to be thrown my way. I'm not very knowledgeable about all of these and I am no expert in any of these, or at least that's what I think. If anybody wants to proclaim me as the expert of something, PLEASE go ahead. I am very vain and love being praised.

Also, I'll keep the things I detest and leave no chance to speak against for some other time. (Because I need topics for my blog.)
So here goes:

• Batman : He is my favorite guy in the world. I don't care if he doesn't really exist. I don't care that Batman fans are considered to be oh-so-over-the-top and way too attached to Batman. I don't care if he can't defeat Superman (No, I'm pretty sure, he can't defeat him in a fair fight. And Tower of Babel was NOT fair). I still love this billionaire (or millionaire? I told you I'm no expert! My memory is failing me, I must be getting old.), philanthropist, badass guy in a bat suit. Why? 'Cuz he is the goddamn BATMAN. 'nuff said.
• Lord of The Rings: Now there could possibly be nothing that speaks against the awesomeness of the Lord of the Rings. Undoubtedly, the best book in the world for focusing your references on and all people who're worth talking to will get them. That also makes it a perfect test when searching for those worthy of your fellowship. Geddit? See what i did there? Exactly what I'm talking about. Not only is the book absolutely worthy of all the respect in the world, even the movie is a good lesson for all the have-been, are and would-be directors of movies based on books. I say that it should be compulsory for everyone to take inspiration from this amazing piece of art which shall remain unparalleled for an exceptionally long time.

• Harry Potter: Really? You want me to explain this? You want me to explain why Dobby The Free Elf rules? You want me to justify the more than 50 million strong fan base of Harry Potter? Nope. I don’t think so. You ask 50 million people. You’ll get as many answers. It might be a younger version of Lord of the Rings and aimed at a more casual audience, but who gives a fuck  when something tried and tested is presented to you in a completely new, different and equally awesome mold. http://www.vulture.com/2012/10/25-most-devoted-fans.html#photo=22x0000. Alright, this says that Twilight has more fans than Harry Potter AND Lord of the Rings. WHAT IS WRONG WITH THE WORLD?!

• Pride and Prejudice: This one’s a classic and rightly so! One can never read too many books. And if you haven’t read this one, you’ve read less than the acceptable number of books. Go and Read. NOW. Mr. Darcy shall forever remain the gentleman. It is also quite clear that during the whole book, beginning to end, Mr.Darcy isn’t the dominating male making the choices. They were, beyond doubt, attracted to the others’ level of intellect. Also, no matter how ridiculously rich the man was, he must always win the woman’s respect before he takes the plunge and asks for her hand. (Yes! Suck on it  Austen haters who go around saying that a modern woman must not read her works because it supposedly sets feminism two centuries behind.)

• Non-violent games : Now I know when one thinks of video games, the immediate reaction is to think about those insanely bloody, gory and outright violent games which could one day be blamed for spreading the popularity of brute force in the male half of the earth. But when I say I play games, I mean pure, sweet, non-violent games. (And it’s NOT those internet barbie dress up and cooking games KAY?). I usually like games in the Arcade category and an occasional Brain and Puzzle. Action and Adventure too, but not a lot. The Sims series, Tomb Raider, Roller Coaster Tycoon, NFS figure in my Top Games list.



I am GOD.

• Human Psychology : What is more interesting than trying to predict what the human in front of you (or in any direction) thinking? I call it the ‘What’s s/he thinking game?’ (It’s not very creative, actually not at all. I KNOW.)  Humans are funny creatures. They have no particular habits which remain the same throughout, unlike animals. (who’re not meant to be consumed by humans BTW, go PETA! Stop with the naked ads though, like, SERIOUSLY). The best part is when you see their reaction to a certain thing. Ah so funny! And I’m not human in case you are wondering. I am a sweet, little, outer space alien who decided to make her home in India. Because aliens in America are too mainstream. I am the alien in the last panel. I landed in India.

Of course there are many more things that I like. I’ll leave them for later. (Because I need topics for my blog.)

I’ll write another post soon, if I can get myself to (I better), meanwhile, enjoy this beautifully simple Oscar nominated short film by Walt Disney Animation Studios: http://www.youtube.com/embed/aTLySbGoMX0

I wasn't paid to promote it...sadly

Until next time..