10 Signs You're a Bad GoodFriend 2

FINALLY. Here’s the second half of the signs that tell you that you’re a horrible friend (not that anyone was waiting for it). Turns out I was waiting for another chance for myself to realize that I’m one. I suck at impersonating a human. I guess people who like Batman just don’t trust anyone.   

• Look at me? Please? Okayyyyyy..NOW!                        
  You require constant attention. No no, not just that one particular friend that you almost think you had a crush on. But from all of them. Each one of your friends. When and where you want it. Oh wait. No. You expect them to read every little thought of your mind AND know when to leave you alone (because you obviously need your space too, right?), and when to approach you even though you asked them to leave you alone. Something is seriously wrong with you, you cruel, sick, selfish bastard!                                                                                                            
  
• Bring it on!
  You never relax. Nope. Never. Not every second is a competition, especially not when you're with your friends. You strive to prove yourself right, assert your opinion, and display your arrogance. Why? Cuz you CAN, that’s why!                                                                              
• You love me?
  Thank you! Love you too. lol jk- You're a sucker for compliments. you love them. You adore them, but in your twisted brain, giving compliments is a huuuuge task. you can't get yourself to speak positive stuff because you're just that negative. you can't tell people you love that you love them cuz you're a freaky, emotionally, socially awkward penguin.                                                                                                                                
  
• Give and Take
  
  
  Despite the fact that you're in a relationship as pure as distilled water itself. Friendship. You want everything to be a give and take affair. You think it is absolutely ridiculous to give someone more than they deserve (more than YOU think they deserve to be precise). You might be a giver at heart and give it your all in the end. But you WILL take it back. And curse them if you don’t get it.                                                
  
  
• I'm the best.
  You might actually be the best friend one could ever get, (it is true in my case, ok?), but you believing that you're absolutely, very very very necessary in your friends' lives is bullshit. They could probably do without you, but don't, cuz you're..well..different. Or in fact, you might actually be thinking that you're useless and your friends don't need you at all, which is again a baseless assumption and you need to stop thinking so much over it. They talk to you because they love you, deal with it. You're awesome!
  
  
  
  

So well, I guess that's that. Try to correct all these things. As will I.

You can read the first part of the post here:

http://betwixt-and-beyond.blogspot.in/2013/03/10-signs-youre-bad-goodfriend-1.html

Ciao!

I'm just so sad. 

10 Signs You're a Bad GoodFriend 1

Being an alien on an alien planet is never easy. There are things one has to learn and adapt to so as not to reveal their hidden agendas. (If you noticed, I’ve still not revealed my hidden agenda, that’s why it's hidden..and I’m not revealing it. I intend to keep it that way, ok?) anyway, being alien to mannerisms of humans, I happen to make some very very very bad mistakes in the field of what humans called friendship.
If you identify with 5 or more of these, you must be one of those memory-modified aliens. Haha! Sucks to be you!

Anyway, here goes

·         Haha! Human!
You're constantly making fun of your friends and not just in pure jest..but comments that could probably hurt them. And you realize that precisely 9000 seconds later. Regretting it. But then again, you don’t apologize. Ever.
I understand that humans are weird and funny and stupid, but please, refrain from pointing it out every 15 minutes.

·         The Test.
You test your friends at each and every point of your friendship. Every day, every second for you is a heart wrenching, death defying examination of whether they are honest, trustworthy or not and each next second is a test of whether they still retain it. My experience on earth has taught me that humans aren’t very fond of examinations.

·         Fool me never.

You think 100 times before telling someone something related to yourself. Justified. I thought 100 000 000 000 times before I decided to reveal my origin. But that's O.K. with weird people around you who you want to K.O. all the time. BUT if you think 10 times even before telling your ‘friends’ a secret, you know you're a bad living creature with trust issues.

·         May the ego be ever in your favor.
Your ego goes with you everywhere. Even when you're with friends. You cannot lose it, ever.  It's oxygen for you. Your friends probably accept you for this, but believe you me, people accept a certain amount of ego, anything over that limit and you’re out of their lives. FRIENDSHIP OVER!

·         Judge them! Judge them all!

Every time they say something, you judge them. You judge their each and every move (and your own). Are they fit to be in your company? Are they good enough? Are you good enough to be with them? Do they like Batman? Do they believe in aliens? Will it ever stop? Probably..NOT.


So humans, do you identify with them? Do you think that I have gotten a completely wrong idea of bad human friendship?
What are the things in YOU that make you a bad friend?

Next 5 points up soon! :'D

Till then, keep telling yourself this, it'll make you feel better. :)

Update:
You can read the second half here:
http://betwixt-and-beyond.blogspot.in/2013/08/10-signs-youre-bad-goodfriend-2.html